Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
