just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
