Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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