also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
