His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Randomize
