I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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