yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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