Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
