Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
