I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
