Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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