Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
