i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
