Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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