I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
