Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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