I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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