I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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