Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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