Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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