can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
