I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
