Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
