i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you never un-have a 4some
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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