Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
