my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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