You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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