it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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