Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
