she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
