The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
