Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Boobs speak an international language.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
