She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
