how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
