Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
