she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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