It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
