i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
