They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
