I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My ass is underappreciated
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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