Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
