Tell her she can't have a vagina
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish you could order shots online.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
