told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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