I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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