Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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