Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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