people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Oh god it's open bar.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
