Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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