i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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