Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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