I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
