he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
