awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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