There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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