$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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